All right, you bunch of pukes. Forget this "Gods Are Bored" bullshit. Yeah, I'm bored. And I'm fuckin' pissed off too.
America, drop and give me fifty. You bunch of limp-wristed bug fuckers could rule the world! And what do you do instead?
I can't HEAR you! WHAT DO YOU DO INSTEAD?
You let a bunch of pussy-assed peace protesters march all through your capital, and when you have the sense to arrest them, you give them a candy bar and a little pat on the head.
THIS SHIT WON'T STAND, AMERICA.
Peace protesters? CRUCIFY THEM. One and all. Start with that sandy-haired gold star mom. UP ON THE CROSS SHE GOES!
Okay, once maybe some crucified pansy comes back from the dead. BUT WE CRUCIFIED THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF MOTHERFUCKERS WHO JUST SUFFERED AND DIED! It's a tool that can be used to craft public opinion. Right?
I didn't HEAR you! RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT?
Zeus damn it! If my praise and worship team had acquired your arsenal of weapons, we'd have MADE THE WHOLE WORLD ROME.
You've got nuclear weapons. USE THOSE FUCKERS! Wipe your enemies off the map, wait a few decades for the radioactivity to wear off, and then SET UP MORE AMERICA!
Aren't you PROUD of America, you pussies?
I don't HEAR you! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF AMERICA?
War is good. It wipes out the weak. Only the strong survive. And that's as it should be. What kind of species carries along the limp biscuits? CUT 'EM DOWN.
Bring back crucifixion. Nuke China and France. Treat every prisoner everywhere to slave labor and psychological torture. And be sure to harvest the best organs from the strongest prisoners, and use them to keep your leaders alive longer!
See what you can do now that we only dreamed about during Rome's glory years? GET TO WORK, YOU PUSSIES!
FROM MARS
YOU KNOW ME, PUSSY
P.S. - Your overweight children make me puke. You couldn't find an ounce of fat on a single member of my praise and worship team.
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