Our lives have so many parameters to it. Different ones that we use to measure the quality of the life we live. It may be health, wealth, joy, or success. However, there is one key criterion that we overlook. We never check the toxicity of our lives, and it is sometimes so easy to ignore. I know because I did. I spent a significant part of my life digging myself deep into work, exercise, family, chores, and everything else. And, when I least expected it, there was black muck creeping into my life and then everything just started to go dark. Before I could take action, it was a little too late. But then, it is like garbage. It cannot be left lying there. It had to be discarded eventually. Problem is, many of us do not know when the elements in our life turn into garbage and how to take them out. Here is a page from my life. Before we see how to identify toxicity in our life, let’s see what it is.
What Is Toxicity?
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A summary of definitions that come from different dictionaries — ‘toxic’ is anything that has the potential to cause serious damage or death to a person. And, toxicity is the toxic ability of the said material.
So, what is toxic? Well, it could be anything. Articles, jobs, relationships, houses, habits, friends, and sometimes, even family. But, often, it is our own heads that turn things into something toxic. If you are wondering why or how elements in our lives turn toxic, it is because of the mismatch in their energy. Any item or person that is stopping you from getting better turns toxic with time. There is no function for that “element” in your life. You are neither able to gain anything from them nor are they receptive to anything good you intend to give them. With that meaning, think of jobs, relationships, friendships, or even articles around you. Makes sense?
Now, How Did I Identify That My Life Was Turning Toxic?
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A few years back, everything was going on great in my life. I was in a dream job, a great girl I was about to marry, fun colleagues to party with every weekend, and a family that was my everything. I guess the first trigger was when I decided to go through a career transition — I wanted to start writing my novel. Everything changed around me. The girl I was to marry went from “you’ve got this” to “what if you fail”. My family was uncomfortable with the book since it was planned to be a crime thriller and I was communicating with pathologists for autopsy details. As I spent lunch breaks researching my book, my colleagues kept me away from their gossip sessions. It was then that I realized that I spent a long time keeping myself in the back seat of my own life.
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As I tried to make peace with everyone, I found myself getting low on energy to carry out day-to-day tasks. I met a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with insomnia and a bad case of bipolarity. Life was coming to a standstill with me merely going through the motions of each day. Neither was I happy with my life nor were the people around me. But, they seemed happy with the fact that I had given importance to their opinions.
I spent the next few months pretending to be alive, while in reality, I was only existing.
…And Then, It Hit me
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One evening, my best friend messaged me to ask me where I was. When I said I was out, she asked, “Where exactly are you?”
It was a simple question that I replied to. But the words kept resonating in my head. And, when I went to bed that night, it hit me. I was everywhere. With my family, friends, work, and life. But inside me, I was nowhere.
That is when I decided to let life take a rather dramatic turn. I broke up with my fiancé, moved out of my home, kept in touch only really close friends, kept away from people who anchored me down, and put myself entirely into what I wanted to do.
It was liberating. I went to monasteries to meditate, took off on unplanned bike rides, spent time at animal shelters, and even randomly bought food for cleaners and rag pickers. Life felt different. I haven’t come too far in life to give you a before and after. But, I know life changed drastically.
In a nutshell, if you think life is getting slow, look out for these toxic signs:
- You start to get pessimistic
- You wake up tired every morning
- Life feels like a chore
- You feel like your life lacks a meaning
- There is a feeling of being directionless
- You feel like you are stagnating
- There seem to be dead ends at every turn you make in life
These are going to take time. But, it is your life. Start to look closely. After you identify them, what next?
- Get clarity of what you want for your life
- Try and identify what or who is a roadblock to your growth
- Stop taking yourself for granted
- Cut out habits that are slowing you down
- If there are toxic people you cannot cut out, detach yourself emotionally from them
- Take some time out for yourself
- Do what is ethically, legally, and mentally right for your future
These may seem like a bunch of tips from a road trip movie. But, know this. Cutting out toxic people —the pessimistic, jealous, time-wasting, self-centered, and dominating ones — does not mean you do not love or respect them. It only means you value your mental sanity more than anything else. And, there is nothing wrong with that. If you want to help someone, it is first you. Even on the aircraft, you put on the oxygen mask for yourself and then your child. This is my opinion about fighting toxicity in life. What is your opinion? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
The post How I Identified And Fought A Toxic Lifestyle appeared first on STYLECRAZE.
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